Choosing Positivity

This post may contain affiliate links and we may earn compensation when you click on the links at no additional cost to you.

The dictionary definition of positivity is the practice of being positive or optimistic in attitude.

I think the key word here is “practice”.

Life presents us with endless opportunities to practice positivity both with ourselves and with others.

Judgement Directed Towards Us

Every parent in the world has felt the sting of criticism at one time or another.

Either from another parent, a friend, family member, or (my favorite) a complete stranger that has no children themselves.

People will full-on intervene, stopping you in the grocery store to tell you why you are doing everything wrong or they will make snide comments in a passive aggressive way in the checkout line.

I have learned a few things from being judged as a mom over the years.

The most important thing I have learned is that the way I treat others is a reflection of ME, and likewise the way others treat me is a reflection of THEM.

Judgmental people are dealing with their own issues about judgment and projecting it onto others (possibly unintentionally or unaware).

The vast majority of experienced parents do NOT judge others because they understand how ridiculous that concept is.

No one knows what I deal with every day and I don’t truly understand what any other mother is dealing with every day.

Our challenges are as unique as we are; there is no way for another human being to truly understand what we are going through today.

People that don’t understand this criticize others.

People that DO understand this build others up.

It is literally that simple.

For every parent that has criticized me, there have been ten parents that showed support and tried to build me up.

When my toddler is literally standing in time-out in the middle of the grocery store for completely unacceptable behavior, people passing by have whispered “You’re doing great”, “Good for you”, “Good moms enforce limits”.

When I first became a mom, I assumed everyone looking at my screaming toddler was judging me, but when I actually looked into their faces, I realized that they are giving me a look of genuine compassion, just the same way I do in grocery stores when I pass the mommy of a child having a meltdown.

Snide people generally do not look you in the eye; encouraging people make strong eye contact as they pass along strength, encouragement, and good vibes.

I don’t ever wish for you to be in a public place with a toddler having a meltdown but next time you find yourself in that situation, please do me a favor:

Set aside your fear of criticism and look for others’ support.

You don’t need to stare people down, but just become more aware of people who are choosing not to judge you than people who are choosing to judge you.

Some people show their support by politely ignoring the situation because they don’t want to draw more attention to you.

That is moral support.

Some people offer kind looks, a pat on the shoulder, or a silent prayer for you.

That is moral support.

Some people even offer you (with your permission) a treat to give your child when they are able to calm down.

That is moral support.

What we focus on expands.

Choose to look for the positive moral support from others instead of the negativity.

You will be shocked, just as I was, how much compassion and support actually exists!

Judgement Directed At Others

All of these concepts also relate to how we treat other people.

*I don’t understand what anyone else is going through.

*I can choose to offer others positive support and encouragement in their journey.

*What I choose to focus on expands.

*If I choose to focus on the negativity in others, I will keep finding it.

*I can choose to deal with frustrating people in a positive way.

My kids know my “code word” for extremely frustrating people.

Precious.

If I ever say that about an adult, it is code for “Wow, I can’t believe how this person is choosing to act right now”.

As my kids got older and could understand what I was saying about other people, I decided I wanted to choose my words carefully so that they had a healthier view of others.

I specifically chose that word so that even in my frustration I remind my kids and myself that we truly are all precious, including the person who just cut me off in traffic.

When we choose to believe that human beings are imperfect people doing their best with the struggles they are dealing with right now, it is much easier to forgive and move past judging them.

I don’t know about you, but I don’t have the time or energy to focus on the judgments or criticisms of others or to judge others myself.

It takes too much energy that I could be using to cultivate a healthy lifestyle for my family.

I choose to give my energy to those I love and pass along good vibes to others regardless of where they are in their life struggle.

This includes gossiping, negative comments on social media, venting frustrations to the wrong people, and not taking care of ourselves.

I am (extremely) far from perfect about implementing all of these choices that I have reviewed here but the more I choose to use my life energy for positivity, the more I understand why it is so important and the more clear my choices become.

Practicing to choose positivity is KEY!

It’s impossible to make a huge shift in our thinking without practice.

1- The first step to practicing positivity is to sit down and contemplate your belief system.

If you have limiting beliefs about the worth of others or yourself, that will cripple your efforts to become a positive person.

You have to choose to believe that we are all of infinite worth and that our worth does not change based on our actions.

If you struggle to accept these core beliefs, it will be harder for you to see the benefits from the next steps but practice them anyways!

It will help you overcome these negative or limiting beliefs when you see the effects of the next steps.

2- Be kind to yourself.

It sounds so simple but if you can’t be positive with yourself you can’t be positive with other people.

When you feel frustrated with or disappointed in yourself, stop and apply your positive belief that you have infinite worth and that your actions do not define your worth.

You still have to work on self-improvement and self-mastery of course, but choose to be kind to yourself and your efforts on your journey.

You are not perfect and you never will be.

Treat yourself like an imperfect person who is trying their very best.

3- Look for ways to be kind to others.

It is easier to start practicing positivity when we are in control of the interaction.

We can look for those who may be struggling and reach out to them with kind words, looks of encouragement, or uplifting written notes.

Everyone you see today could use your positive kindess.

The miracle here is that the more positivity you give away, the more you have left!

Once you are in the habit of looking for others to be kind to, it is easier to be kind to those who are not being kind to you.

4- Choose to save your energy for positivity only.

This may be the hardest step and for good reason.

When others criticize or judge us it may be hard to not take offense but you are the only one that can make the choice to keep your energy positive.

As an adult I was surprised to realize that how we react to others is our own choice.

We only have to feel embarrassed, angry, frustrated, or upset about the actions of others if we choose to be.

No matter what other people say or do, we always have the power of choice.

Choice in how we will respond in the situation and in life.

Choose to not let the actions of others affect you or drain your positive energy.

5- Use your positive energy for good!

Now for the best part of all!

Take ALL of that energy you saved from going down the rabbit hole of negativity and give it to those you love!

Bring all of this healthy, positive energy into your family and watch how it profoundly affects them and you.

Dedicate time for My Time every day because now you have more energy and can bless your family members so much more!

If it takes 21 days to make a habit, then practice choosing to give and receive only positive thoughts for three weeks and see how your life changes for the better.

A HUGE thank you to my husband and kids and all of the wonderful family, friends, and complete strangers who have taught me by example how important it is to be positive!

Please share this article using the social share buttons below with those you love or those who would benefit from practicing positivity in their lives. 

Our Best (Positive) Wishes For A Wonderful Day Today and Every Day!!