Find Your Motherhood Tribe

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Motherhood is the hardest job on Earth.

What other job demands your 24/7 full attention, has overbearing exhausting and demanding clients, has NO labor union protections such as adequate sleep guarantees or Lego workplace safety regulations, does not end when your children grow up and leave home, and personally costs you millions of dollars over the course of your life?

Motherhood requires you to be a nurse, therapist, maid, architect, laundress, interior designer, teacher, tutor, life adviser, social media safety expert, taxi driver, human schedule coordinator, accountant, and stellar character role model for your children that are right under your nose watching everything you do.

That is a LOT to ask of one human being.

Of course, the job also comes with unbelievable perks and bounteous blessings.

There is no perfect way to describe the amazing bond between mother and child.

There is no deeper or more sincere love humans can attain.

The trials of pregnancy, delivery, infertility, and adoption deepen the love and commitment we have for the child into which we have invested everything we possess.

No one is more proud of a child and their accomplishments than their mother!

Every step, every milestone, every game, every performance, and every child’s good choices are sincerely celebrated by a proud and loving mother.

It may be easy to lose our perspective on the hard days.

However, I would MUCH rather have both my children and the accompanying craziness than neither one.

Young mothers can often be heard lamenting the hardships of motherhood (and rightfully so!) but if asked “Is Motherhood worth it?” they answer “Of course”.

Even though the hardships of motherhood pale in comparison to the beautiful blessings it brings, every mother still needs a rock solid support system to help her survive and thrive.

Why It Is Important To Find Your Motherhood Tribe

There are different stages of motherhood depending on how old your children are.

In the Early Years, you have very young children that demand so much of your time and energy because there are so many things that they cannot do themselves (think diapers, sleepless nights, terrible twos).

In the Middle Years, you have school-aged children that need your help learning social behaviors, life skills, and healthy self-esteem.

In the Teen Years, your children often pull away from you to discover who they want to be and practice making increasingly harder life choices as they approach adulthood.

In the Adult Years, your child is navigating adult life (think college, finding a spouse, beginning a family of their own).

It is imperative that your Motherhood Tribe includes mothers who have children similar in age and needs to your own.

This does NOT mean that you cannot have or keep friends if you don’t have children close in age!

Both of you will benefit from the perspective of one another no matter your two situations.

However, it DOES mean that you NEED TO SEEK AND FIND mothers that are in similar stages of life as you so that you have the support system that you need to help you with what you are dealing with every day.

You NEED similar perspectives and challenges in your Motherhood Tribe because you need people that are thinking about the same things that you are day in and day out.

You remember the saying,”Two minds are better than one?”

If you have a tribe of women that are all helping each other come up with solutions to the same parenting struggles, you have a WAY better chance of finding multiple solutions to try.

How To Find Your Motherhood Tribe

It is easy to find mothers to add to your Motherhood Tribe!

Just look around you every day.

What are you and your children doing every day because whatever it is, there are other mothers and children doing the SAME THING!

Does your child attend the local elementary school?

If so, the best way to get to know other mothers there is to join the Parent Teacher Association.

Do you home-school your child?

If so, there are TONS of Facebook and other Social Network communities dedicated to supporting mothers who choose to home-school their children.

Do you attend church?

If so, there are other mothers who attend with their children every week too.

Do you have very young children not in school yet? (Bless you, that is the most isolating part of motherhood I think)

Where do you take your young babies and toddlers?

Do you stroll at the mall, play at the community playground, or attend story time at the local library?

Where ever you are with them, look around you for other moms to reach out to.

I love chatting with other moms as we push our babies in the swings, or catch our toddlers at the end of the slides.

I have had a great time talking with parents who are standing outside the movie theater with their baby too because there isn’t a cry room in the theater.

We are literally all in this together, right?

Parents of children with special needs have an especially important need to network and communicate with other parents whose children have similar needs.

Wherever you are receiving health services for your special needs child, you can always ask if they have a monthly parent education night, workshops, community events, or online resources, and don’t forget the importance of chatting with other parents in the waiting room.

When you stop and look around, it is easy to find parents who understand what you are going through because they are literally right there with you.

How To Contribute To Your Motherhood Tribe

Every mother has a very different personality and social needs.

We all have friends, but a collection of friends that has a common goal is a tribe.

Some Motherhood Tribes meet for lunch once a week while the kids play together.

Some go out for a spa day once a month, or a road trip every summer.

Some mothers just need to know that they will get to see other mothers during church every Sunday or Story Time at the library once a week.

Whatever and however you prefer to socialize with other mothers, make sure that your PRIMARY FOCUS is to help other people.

Motherhood Tribes are not a time and place to reflect on yourself but to look for ways to uplift and help others.

Of course, if you have a great tribe, they will do the same for you!

They will do anything they can to help you with something you may be struggling with and some of the best advice I have ever gotten was from parents who understood what I was going through because they were too, and had fabulous advice for what worked for them.

However, as you cultivate your tribe, make sure that you are in a position to HELP OTHERS.

There are endless ways to volunteer your time within your community.

Joining the PTA at school is an easy way to do this.

You can help as much or as little as you would like to.

I don’t have time or availability to be the PTA president but I do have time to help with small PTA projects that come up during the school year.

You could also volunteer in your child’s classroom; I guarantee you that the teacher could use your help.

Another great way to help is to be a parent chaperone on field trips or help with class parties.

Museums, theaters, aquariums, hospitals, and other community event centers almost always have volunteer opportunities that they depend on community members to help with.

Mothers who have young children can even swap babysitting for each other so each can volunteer.

However much you are able to contribute will bless other people but most of all yourself.

It’s not about how much you do; it’s about what your purpose is.

Serving other people lifts even the most weary and downtrodden mama heart.

Since mothers serve their children and family every day, it is imperative to reach outside that daily circle and help others too.

It clears your mind and helps to give you the perspective you need outside your own family.

When you have a group of friends that are all choosing to spend their time helping others, it strengthens your friendships and magnifies your efforts.

This doesn’t mean that you and your friends have to volunteer at the local soup kitchen every time you get together.

Sometimes, especially if you are a mama of very young children, the most important thing you could do for each other is hang out at the playground and talk so that you both feel more human after no sleep for ten days in a row.

If going out to lunch on birthdays makes you and your friends happy, then by all means go out for birthday lunches!

Just keep in mind, whenever you help others it increases YOUR joy.

And every mother needs to find joy in every day.

Sometimes mothers get exhausted from giving their all to their family and we start to lose perspective on our ability to contribute to others.

Giving of ourselves to other charitable causes can help us find balance and perspective, both in our individual lives and together as a Motherhood Tribe.

We will be stronger mothers and give our children an example of service that they WILL notice during their life.

What do you like to do together with your Motherhood Tribe?

Please let us know in the comments below!

Don’t forget to share this article with your friends, family, and Motherhood Tribe by using the share buttons below.

Our best wishes for happy, healthy, and helpful good times to you and your wonderful Motherhood Tribe!